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There are not many gorillas living in the wild. There are only 36 families in the world and these are spread across the dramatic Virungas mountain range that tower over and divide Uganda, Rwanda and Democratic Republic of Congo.
Yesterday, we went trekking in the sodden rain forests of the Parc National des Volcans to see the Umabano family which consisted of 14 gorillas, including the main man himself, Silverback Charles, and his wives and children.
Now I'm not one for Americanisms, unnecessary capitalisation or excessive punctuation marks, but gorilla trekking was MOTHER FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!
The day began with coffee (not as nice as Ugandan coffee - not that I'm biased), a traditional Rwandan dance and drumming session, a briefing on how to act around the gorillas and an hours drive up what can in no way be described as a road. It would be generous to call it a track, but we bounced our way up it and everyone survived despite a number of (apparently) accidental yet moderate groping incidents.
The first part of the walk was through farmland. Our welcome was pretty similar to a Ugandan welcome, with cries of "hi muzungo" floating across the fields and children waving at us. The scenery was pretty similar to the mountainous region of Eastern Uganda with patchwork style terraced fields and people tending the land, only the blood red Ugandan soil had been replaced with thick, rich brown soil and was surrounded by the most dramatic mountains I have ever seen.
After getting sucked into mud pits, stung by massive (and painful) stingies, crawling on all fours to get through a thick tangled web of various trees, and bushes, whacked in the face by bamboo and eucalyptus tree branches and generally contorting our bodies under, over and through the boggy Rwandan mountains and its rain forest vegetation, we saw our first mountain gorillas.
There were two young gorillas play fighting together that ended up tumbling and bumping into me when they lost their balance - the first of a series of heart pounding and hair raising moments where I froze and stared wide-eye at ur guide before awaiting instruction on what to do.
My heart was racing for the whole experience, none more so than when Silverback Number Two, (who kinda reminded me of Mark by the way Gill!) strode past us, literally brushing against my trousers with utter nonchalance at our presence.
Alex caught the end of this on video and you can see me turning round to look at him mouthing something that Auntie Bet definitely wouldn't approve of.
The Silverback Stride really is something to see. The confidence and sheer power with which he swaggered was just unbelievable - he was all shoulders and arse and was nature's ultimate brick shit house. Hippos had nothing on this bad boy!
He and the others really didn't give two hoots we were there. The guide explained that they don't see humans as a threat at all, but as other jungle animals so just tend to ignore us. Good job really as my attempt to blend into the natural surroundings didn't work out too well.
We did get to see and hear Silverback Number Two do a pretty impressive chest beating though - it sounded a little bit like coconuts being knocked together! A couple of the young teenage boys gave it a shot too but they weren't as impressive as the groups's number two. It was a bit like pre-pubescents teenager trying to puff their chests out but actually makes them look like right weeds.
We soon met Number One who was sitting on his bamboo and nettle throne in a small clearing, just sitting, chilling, watching two of his little ones, with his arms crossed whilst looking pretty cool, grumpy and generally awesome and scary all at the same time.
Seriously, this fella should be king of the jungle, not any lion. (Do lions actually live in the jungle by the way?!)
I don't know how much they weigh but it must be a pretty hefty amount, most of which is carried in their shoulders and peachy arses.
And they are vegetarians! Now if that isn't a sign that salads and dieting aren't good for you, surely gorillas, followed closely by hippos, what is?
There were a couple of moments and scenes that made me think, 'Wow, gorillas really are quite similar to us humans!' There was a younger gorilla jumping all over their older sibling and generally being irritating until the older one lost his temper and whacked him hard across the head and sending the youngster flying. It reminded me of when I used to win fights against my brothers - before they grew into six foot something monsters that is.
There was also a young gorilla that paraded himself in front of us, making direct eye contact before shamelessly flopping onto the ground in the sun, arms above his head, legs akimbo before starting to scratch his nuts with vigour. Our guide's response?
"Boys are the same all over the world, whatever animal they are".
From the photos I've posted on Facebook, I've had a few messages and texts off people saying things like, "I expected Africa to be sunny. It looked like it was raining in your photos. Ha ha - your tan won't last long!"
Well it's the rainy season in Africa and the film was called Gorillas in the Mist, not Gorillas Chilling Out With a Cocktail and Relaxing in the Blazing Sun.
Num nuts.
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